Let’s put it to the test…
Let’s dive into some common myths about sex that may be unconsciously shaping your beliefs—limiting your authentic experience of intimacy.
In The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships, Dr. Miguel Ruiz Jr. compiled a list of common sex myths that are, quite frankly, a mix of hilarious and downright absurd (some more ridiculous than others!). But here’s the thing—Even subconsciously believing these myths could hold you back. These ideas don’t just create struggles in the bedroom; they can also impact your relationship dynamics in ways you might not even realize.
Let’s get real and do a little self-assessment. You can thank me later. 😉
Common Sex Myths you might be holding onto:
- You have to look a certain way to be sexy.
- Only people with specific body types can be desirable and sexy.
- Women don’t enjoy sex as much as men.
- A woman’s main job during sex is to please her partner.
- Partners should automatically know how to please each other—no guidance needed.
- Men naturally want more sex than women.
- Being attracted to or having sex with someone of the same gender is wrong or dangerous.
- Menopause means the end of sexual pleasure.
- Certain acts are off-limits, even when all parties are consenting.
- You should be sexual with your partner, even if you don’t want to.
- If you’ve been sexually abused, you’ll never fully enjoy sex again.
- Sleeping with multiple people makes you a “slut” or a “player.”
- Erectile challenges mean sex is pointless.
- Sexual satisfaction fades as you age.
Sound familiar? If you’re grappling with these or questioning which are myths versus truths… ask yourself this key question:
- “Do you believe that because it’s absolutely true; or is it true for you because you believe it? (or you were told!)
Our society has demonized and crafted a bunch of taboos around natural aspects of our humanity. Sex, money, self-pleasure, kinks, etc., have become “the things we don’t speak of.” Posed as forbidden, impure, unacceptable, leading to the suppression of individual expression, creativity, and freedom. This controversy often blinds us to how these aspects can positively enrich our lives!
Waking up to the truth of who you are is a gradual process. It’s not black and white—there are many shades of grey. Deconditioning and truly liberating yourself is only possible when you explore the whole narrative of who you are, or who you think you are. Getting honest with yourself and being willing to go deep is essential.
Because no matter how much healing you do, you’re never going to feel fulfilled and integrated if you’re still trying to fit in the box that was handed to you.
There are certainly lots of people carrying around belief systems that don’t serve them, shoving themselves into relationship structures that don’t make them happy, and countless sad stories we could make a collection of tragic melodramas. Part of your responsibility is to seek out what makes you want to contract, move into it, and take your judgments off. Usually, the thing that makes us feel “sticky” and causes us discomfort is a growth edge. Real growth occurs when our perception is being challenged, and we choose to search for the wisdom in it.
Remember, just because something feels uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Explore experiences that challenge your comfort zone, whether that’s attending a drag show, learning about BDSM, or connecting with people from diverse backgrounds and cultures. Use your experiences to help free yourself from preconceived notions. Ask yourself: “Is this a distortion, a belief, or a choice out of alignment?” By naming it and shining some light on it, you’re able to start to dissipate its hold on you. Get clear and pave your own path toward integrity, whatever that means for you.
Now Let’s Take Practical Steps
Now that we’ve explored some of the common myths, it’s time to take actionable steps to redefine your relationship with sexuality. Below are practical strategies to challenge these myths, empower yourself, and break free from old beliefs:
1. Reflect on Your Beliefs
Take some time to reflect on which of these myths resonate with you. Which ones have shaped your thoughts or experiences? What have you internalized as “truth” about sex? Write them down and start questioning their validity.
2. Seek Understanding & Challenge Myths
Once you’ve identified the myths that feel relevant to you, challenge them by exploring alternative perspectives. Seek out trusted resources, books, or conversations with supportive friends or partners who can provide new insights. Engage in open discussions about your beliefs around sex and intimacy to broaden your understanding.
3. Normalize Open Dialogue & Vulnerability
Create space for vulnerability in your relationships. Having honest, non-judgmental conversations about sex can break down outdated beliefs and help you foster deeper connection with yourself and your partner. Remember, there’s no “right” way to approach sex—it’s about what feels good and authentic for YOU.
4. Empower Yourself & Reclaim Your Sexuality
It’s time to take back your sexual power and define what intimacy means for you. Let go of societal or cultural conditioning that no longer serves you. Embrace your desires, boundaries, and preferences. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to sex, and you have the freedom to create a relationship with your sexuality that feels aligned and authentic.
5. Explore Resources & Support
If you’d like to dive deeper, consider reaching out to experts who focus on intimacy and sexuality. We can provide guidance in unraveling and redefining your beliefs around sex.
The beliefs we carry shape our experiences—sex is no exception. If this stirred something within you, let’s unpack it together. Reach out, and let’s begin your journey of reclaiming your truth, from the bedroom all the way to the boardroom!
